Dark Lordess

Very good. Much better than the first. I'll try character impressions. :P Annie - She wants to do something important and make her parents proud. She's afraid to fail and ...

I know people say chapter length is up to the writer but I think you should make it longer. Maybe you should try describing things a bit more: the way ...

I think this was my favorite chapter, even if it was really short. :D I know we're not supposed to comment on other critiques but he was wondering how skye ...

Very good! It was original and really got me interested! :D I agree with Trident. He seemed to rush into the door without as much incentive as I think a ...

Very good. :D One of the beasts him along the stair, a pitiful thing covered in matted grey fur, starved and slavering. I think you forgot a word. He was ...

There were a few typos that could be fixed easily with spell check and a proofread. If I could I would bite his head off. This didn't seem to fit. ...

Very good. :D ...rubbing his hands over the rough stubble that never seemed to leave... I like that you used this and his description at the beginning instead of saying ...

While the sun waxing in the sky cast and rays of light upon the glassy clouds... its? Merciful sleep began to coil itself around Creiha when Markus trudged up the ...

A small sigh escaped him; bring the attention of the other man. bringing Her mouth had been painted red and curled in an amused smile. Her eyes, however, were a ...

When she saw it was nothing but a paper hats he sank to the floor. When she saw it was nothing but a paper hat, she sank to the floor. ...

"People should [s]do[/s] help one another out of kindness," she said. One of them roared laughter but stopped abruptly when he noticed Maviance and Jyslan approaching. I think One of ...

Very Good. :D But they have never stopped looking for a way home. I thought this was a great way to end the prologue. Moments later Gatter was already wrestling ...

Okay... how weird is this? I was listening to Avril Lavigne's Hey You like TWO minutes before I saw this! (That's why I decided to read it actually) :P I ...

Your an amazing writer! :D Strick, we need to talk." Markus motioned to Strick while, and nodded at Creiha. I think you forgot something here. I didn't find the dialogue ...

You had a few typos that could be easily fixed by spell check. "It took me ages to write Wishing you were Somehow here Again !" moaned Skye. I think ...